


Être Fleur Bleue

by Jellyfish_Tacos



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Bathtubs, Bleeding, Cuddling, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cuts, Drinking, Drunkenness, Fluff, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Male Homosexuality, Men Crying, Ocean, mermaid, merman, sap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-12 05:25:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9057457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jellyfish_Tacos/pseuds/Jellyfish_Tacos
Summary: When he goes for a walk on the beach one night, Viktor Nikiforov finds a drunk merman with cuts from glass all over his body. He can't just leave him there, so he takes him to his house to nurse him back to health.





	1. Green

Yuuri knew that what he was about to do was stupid. He knew how the alcohol would affect him. But he didn't care. Nothing really mattered anymore anyway. He would wake up tomorrow with the same shitty life, only he'd be more miserable than before and have a killer hangover. Katsuki Yuuri was a failure, and he would rather drink the night away until he was left in an intoxicated haze than confront his problems. And if he could get away for a while, then he would. Even if it came at a high cost. 

Yuuri held the deep green bottle up to the pale moonlight filtering down and studied it, debating how to pry it open. It had been a lucky find in the first place, after all, who drops their champagne into the ocean? It was the sort of object that cropped up now and again, but it was rare. Sometimes whole crates of alcohol fell off of barges, but that wasn't commonplace. Yuuri had been saving this for a couple years, waiting for a time when he was desperate enough to use it to find escape for a while. 

Unfortunately, Yuuri had not found a bottle opener. That would have been all too easy. Yuuri surveyed the seabed for the glint of something sharp, perhaps a nail or a sheet of metal. No such object was in sight. He sighed and lazily pumped his tail, propelling himself closer to the shore. There was no hurry; he had all night. The merman’s heart felt empty of any emotion, as if it had all poured out of him and dispersed into the water. He drifted towards the rocky beach, taking care not to hit his tail against any of them. Soon, there was only three feet of water between the stones and the rippling surface. 

With a flick of his body, Yuuri’s head broke through into the open air. It stung his wet skin like ice, biting and digging in. His gasping gills flapped to no avail, and he opened his mouth to draw in the frigid air with his feeble human lungs. It was time. He saw only one way to open the bottle. With a crash, he broke the top on a barnacle encrusted rock that was peeking out of the waves. Before he could use better judgement, he brought the bottle to his lips. The keen edges nicked them and blood started to drip down his chin, but he didn't stop drinking. He deserved the pain. Maybe he would bleed out and nobody would have to deal with him anymore. Ruefully, he wondered if anyone would even care if he died. 

The champagne burned slightly in Yuuri’s throat, and the sour-sweet taste washed over his tongue. He drank and drank, until his hands would not obey him and he dropped the bottle. It shattered into a million pieces. Overcome with the emotion that he'd pushed deep down for so long, he sprawled himself over the rock and sobbed, hating himself. He laughed at how foolish he was through the tears. Slowly, he began to lose his self control and awareness. He relished the freedom that came with the exhilarating buzz, embracing it with open arms. 

(I'll post the rest soon. Constructive criticism? I'd like to improve this.)


	2. Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri wakes up in an unfamiliar environment. Viktor tries to earn his trust.

When Yuuri regained consciousness, he was met with the ethereal face of an angel.  
‘So I've died, then,’ was his immediate first thought. But alas, it wasn't so. The headache hit him like a tidal wave. He was too nauseous, too sore to be in heaven. Fun fact, merfolk can't throw up. They just carry the pain and horrible feeling until it hopefully passes. Their systems are stronger, and they can usually deal with the problem; but right now, he was wishing that he could purge the alcohol out of his body. 

Yuuri was lying on his back in unusually warm, shallow water, his dorsal fin uncomfortably contorted beneath him. His face was completely submerged. Beneath him was a smooth, slippery, and hard surface. He'd never felt anything like it before. Above the gentle surface, the beautiful face continued to stare down at him, crystal blue eyes full of concern. There was something… off about the face. Something odd and unfamiliar. 

Reality smacked Yuuri, and anxiety crawled up his throat. In a flash, he sat up, water droplets flying everywhere. The blue-eyed person had moved quickly out of the way to avoid getting hit. Yuuri gasped as his body slid out from under him. He gingerly brought himself upright again, using the edges of the container he was confined in to steady himself. With a shaky hand, he moved his raven colored hair out of his eyes. His heart racing, he looked around his foreign environment. Artificial light shone from above, so bright that Yuuri had to squint against it. Strange objects and furniture were scattered about the room. And there, in the center of it all, was a human looking straight at him. 

Panic gripped Yuuri's chest and he backed against the rounded corner of his prison, frightened eyes wide. He almost fell again, but caught himself. No, it wasn't just a mirage. There really was a human sitting there. It was a male one, as far as he could tell. His silver hair was pinned out of the way as if he'd needed to put it up for a difficult task. Yuuri had never been this close to one before. Merfolk generally stayed far away from them in order to avoid capture. 

Memories of Yuuri's foolish decision the night before came flooding back to him. How could he have been so dense? He must have beached himself in his drunken stupor and got himself caught. Tears pricked in the corners of his eyes. He couldn't even have been killed, he had to be found by a human and seized. Despair rose in his stomach, and he sunk down into the water, curling his long tail in as he laid on his side, arms crossed over his chest. With any luck, the human would just put him out of his misery and not experiment on him or eat him alive. 

Yuuri squeezed his eyes shut and prayed that when he opened them, this would all have been just a nightmare. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Victor had no clue what to do in this situation. I mean, what would you do if you had a gorgeous, crying, hungover merman in your bathtub? He felt so guilty. He could only imagine how scared and confused the creature must be.  
“Hey, it's okay,” he tried reassuringly, but it occurred to him that the merman probably couldn't understand him at all. 

Victor sighed and unclipped the barrette in his hair. Maybe it'd been a bad idea to take him here? Didn't they say not to interfere with the wildlife? But… he had looked so helpless, clinging to his legs, begging something in a language of clicks and with tears and blood dripping off his face. He surely would have dried out in the sun or been ensnared by someone with nefarious intent if he'd been left there. 

Viktor’s eyes scanned over the huddled form. The cuts on the mer’s lips, arms, and torso seemed a little better than they had been before. Viktor had carried him in his arms up to his house and delicately picked glass out of the gashes on his unconscious form. He pieced together what had happened. The shards were deep emerald colored, and some of the curved pieces suggested that they came from a bottle. A bottle of alcohol, to be precise, and Viktor assumed it was the same one that had intoxicated him. 

Viktor realized that his heart was hurting as he looked at the pitiful merman. He was pressed against the side of the tub, as far away from him as possible, and curled up in the fetal position, shimmering tail and hair pulled around him protectively. His whole body was shuddering with quiet sobs. Viktor wanted to reach out and touch him, but he had a feeling that that would just scare the poor thing even more instead of providing comfort. What could he do? He needed to build trust somehow, or this would go nowhere. 

Ah. There was one thing that everyone loved, regardless of species, and that was food. But what did a merman eat? Victor didn't have any plankton or krill lying around. He pulled out his phone and looked it up. All of the answers were purely hypothetical, and were no help. No matter! He would just figure it out as he went. That's what he always did. He kept going and trying different things, even if he wasn't quite sure what he was doing. With an inability to predict the effects of his actions, he ended up in predicaments such as having an injured merman in his bathtub. 

Viktor stood up and left, leaving the door open so that he could hear if anything went horribly awry. He hurried down the stairs and yanked the freezer handle. What could he feed the merman? Would giving him fish be cannibalism? No, no, fish ate smaller fish all the time. There was that idiom, “There's always a bigger fish.” Wait, was that an actual saying or a movie quote? Viktor shook his head to clear it. He didn't have any fish anyways. But he did have calamari. 

When Viktor was hungover, he craved fatty foods. Perhaps it was the same with mermen? Only one way to find out. He poured olive oil and half of the bag of frozen calamari into a skillet and cranked up the heat. As the oil began to sizzle, he looked up how to care for saltwater fish, and nearly dropped his tongs. He felt like smacking himself on the forehead. How had he made such an oversight? In his haste to get the merman to safety, he'd forgotten that he would have to go back to the beach and fetch ocean water. Of course a saltwater fish would need saltwater! 

Viktor took a pen from the marble countertop and scribbled himself a note on the back of his hand. Without it, he surely would forget; important things tended to slip his mind. After he fed the merman, he would have to go and get some water. Without meaning to, Viktor began humming as he fried up the rings. “Stay Close to Me and Never Leave,” one of his favorite arias. He tended to play opera music while he was working, he found it relaxing. Sometimes he would subconsciously end up painting the brush strokes in time to the music, or creating pieces inspired by a particularly rousing melody. 

Viktor rummaged through the cupboard and procured a metal bowl. He lined the bottom with paper towels and then placed the calamari inside one by one. Before he left, he grabbed two forks. Did merfolk even use utensils? He pondered this as he ascended the stairs and entered the bathroom. The merman was still curled up, and he tensed when he heard Viktor walk in. Viktor couldn't see his face anymore; the creature’s waist-length black hair shrouded his form. He set a hand towel on the lip of the tub and placed the bowl on top of it. 

The merman slowly turned to face the bowl and looked up, his wary, chocolate brown eyes almost completely obscured by hair. His upturned nose twitched slightly as he smelled the air. Cautiously, he slid over onto his front and craned his neck to peer into the dish. Viktor held his breath as he watched in anticipation. He didn't dare move for fear of scaring off the merman. A slender, webbed hand tentatively reached for the food, but was quickly lowered again. Maybe he thought the food was poisoned? Viktor gradually extended his arm. The merman recoiled a bit, but didn't back away, to his relief. He pierced a piece of calamari with the fork and brought it to his lips. The crispy golden ring crunched in his mouth, flooding it with flavor. The merman was watching carefully, although he feigned disinterest. 

“See, it’s delicious! Try some.” Viktor smiled encouragingly. Maybe his positive tone would be enough to convey his message. The merman turned away and ducked his head. As if on cue, his stomach growled loudly. “Go on, it's alright.” A hand darted out and snatched a ring. The creature munched on it quietly. Viktor nodded and grinned. “There you go. Have some more!” He considered giving him a fork, but thought better of it. The mer might think he was being threatened. 

To Viktor’s delight, the mer took some more food. Soon, the bowl was empty aside from a couple crumbs. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

(How is it so far?)


	3. Pink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri is worried, and Viktor gives some comfort.

Yuuri was thumbing through one of the shiny paper booklets that the human had brought him, his tail waving lackadaisically in the water behind him. Although he couldn't read what the text said, he loved pouring over the colorful pictures that showed a world that he hadn't known existed before. He was amazed to discover that humans could come in all sorts of shapes and colors, just like merfolk could. Some of them were slightly chubby, like he was, and some had slimly fit physiques, like the human that he was living with. 

However, humans seemed to be mostly earthy browns and blacks and creams, while mers could have scales of any hue in the spectrum. Yuuri's tail was a royal purple near his waist, which faded to indigo and then melted to a rich blue at the end. He had frilly, ice blue fins that caught the light like gossamer. But all of his colors paled in comparison to the eyes of the human that cared for him, which were as clear cerulean as the sky. 

Yuuri had come to the conclusion over the past week that either the human was really good at acting, or he actually did not intend to hurt him. Who knows, though? Maybe he was trying to fatten him up. The delicious food he was being given certainly made it seem that way. But the human always spoke so warmly and sweetly to him. Although, for all he knew, he could be insulting him behind a facade of kindness. Somehow, however, he doubted that this was the case. 

The human brought Yuuri new seawater every other day and had installed a device that filtered and cleaned the contents of his container. (The gills on his neck produced a lot of ammonia, and he could suffocate if it wasn't cycled out of the water regularly.) He felt guilty that the human was going through all this trouble for him. He wasn't worth it, was he? Surely if the human knew what a failure he was, he would be dumped back into the sea, he told himself. 

Yuuri had been healing up nicely. The human had been putting a white salve on his cuts, and it seemed to work like magic; they were small scabs now. When the human touched his skin to apply the medicine, his fingers were warm- oh, so warm- and it sent his heart beating in a frenzy and his skin tingling as if electricity was coursing through it. It confused him.. he'd never felt anything like it before and didn't know what it meant.

Back in the present, a lock of Yuuri’s wet hair slipped off of his shoulder and smacked heavily against the booklet. He quickly tucked it back, but the damage had already been done. What had once been a beautiful arctic landscape of ice and seals had a huge, muddled blob in the center of it. Guilt swelled in his stomach like a spiny pufferfish. Would the human be angry at him for ruining it? Anxiety mingled with the guilt, creating a cocktail of worry. 

He'd never been mad at Yuuri before, but… The familiar sound of the human’s barefooted steps came within earshot, and they began growing louder like a crescendo. He could hear the click of the human’s furry pet’s nails as well; it must be with him. Panic enveloped Yuuri, and he rolled into a ball as the human entered.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Viktor was holding a bowl of grilled shrimp that he'd reheated. It was steaming, bringing a mouthwatering scent through the air. His brown poodle was trailing behind, his tail wagging, hoping for a morsel.  
“This isn't for you, Makkachin!” he chided playfully. “It's for the merman.” He gave Makkachin a piece anyway, and then stepped into the bathroom. The mer was curled up, his face hidden against his tail. Viktor sighed and set the bowl on the counter. “What's wrong?” he asked, concerned. The creature tended to try and make himself smaller when he was scared or worried, he had observed. The merman didn't move. 

Viktor looked down and saw a magazine at his feet, with a large water stain that had run the ink together. Before he could stop himself, he laughed softly. The mer thought he would be angry about the ruined magazine? It certainly looked like an accident.  
“It's alright.” He tried to sound as compassionate as possible. Cautiously, the merman lifted up his head, still hiding behind a curtain of hair. Viktor smiled sincerely, making eye contact. “See?” The mer stared at him, gills flapping. He tilted his head, his eyes asking, “You aren't mad at me?” 

Viktor found the merman’s expression so cute and endearing. In his chest, the desire to protect and comfort him rose. He wrapped his arms around him, not caring that he was getting soaked. The other’s body felt so cold and fragile in his arms; he wanted to hold him tightly and not let go. But he pulled away reluctantly. The merman was dumbfounded, perfectly still and eyes huge. Blood rushed to his cheeks, turning them a vibrant scarlet. Makkachin padded up to him and licked his face, pulling him out of his shock. He smiled shyly and looked down. 

Viktor picked up the magazine, closed it, and slid it onto the counter behind him. He offered the mer the dish of shrimp. Delicately, the merman took the bowl, his webbed fingers wrapped carefully around it. He set it on the lip of the tub and ate them slowly, his hair still blocking out most of his face. On an impulse, Viktor reached out and gently brushed his silky hair back. He found himself gasping slightly. 

The merman was beautiful, at least in Viktor’s eyes. He had a soft face, with tiny, iridescent purple scales down his nose and along his cheekbones. Dark brows arched over his chestnut-brown eyes, which were so deep and expressive. His rose-petal pink lips were parted slightly, about to receive a shrimp that was being held by frozen fingers.  
“You have a nice face; you shouldn't hide it,” Viktor told him, not expecting to be understood. Still, the merman looked slightly flattered and the blush returned, although it was more subtle than before. 

He kept munching on juicy shrimp, and Viktor leaned back against the cabinets, petting Makkachin contently. He pulled out his phone and checked his Instagram feed so that the merman wouldn't feel self conscious while eating.  
‘Huh, Chris got a piece into that prestigious art show he was talking about. Good for him.’ Chris had posted a picture of himself wrinkling cheerily next to a raunchy, muscular, nude statue of the god Apollo. 

While Viktor was happy for his friend’s success, he couldn't help feeling a little hollow inside. It had been a while since he'd painted anything he was passionate about; he mostly did commissions as of late. He liked to surprise the viewer with every painting he did, but it was becoming harder and harder to do that. It was if his creative well was drying up. And although he wouldn't admit it, the thought terrified him. 

Viktor realized that the sound of quiet chewing had stopped. His eyes shifted up to see the merman gazing at his phone curiously. He held it out to show him and scrolled through the page. The mer’s face reminded him of a cat that's watching a toy.  
“Ah!” Viktor dived to catch the bowl before it hit the tile. He hadn't noticed, but Makkachin had been licking the bottom and tugging it closer and closer to the edge. “I better go and put this away,” he chimed apologetically. 

Viktor stood to leave, but a freezing, dripping wet hand grabbed his wrist. He glanced down to see the merman pointing at himself. He enunciated something in mermish is that sounded like a two-syllable whistle. Viktor blinked.  
“Your name?” The mer repeated what he had said before. “Yuuri?” He shrugged slightly as if to say, “Close enough.” “Yuuri!” Viktor cried, overjoyed. It was so nice to have something to call him. “I'm Viktor.” He pointed to himself. “Viktor.” Yuuri swallowed nervously.  
“Bikkutoru?” he tried, flustered. Viktor’s lips curled into a grin. So sweet. He nodded. Yuuri smiled, relieved, and Viktor turned to leave. He tapped down the stairs, Makkachin trotting next to him.  
“Yuuri,” he whispered softly, to no one in particular. 

 


	4. Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Viktor bond over opera; confessions are made.

Yuuri was watching the screen, transfixed as though a spell had been placed on him. He'd been astonished at just seeing pictures of the human world- imagine how he felt when Viktor showed him that some of them could move. They were recordings; a section of time captured forever. Mer folk didn't have that kind of technology. He figured that they had not been developed underwater because human devices were powered by electricity. Maybe they could harness another type of energy? He wasn't quite sure.  
Yuuri was watching the moving picture on the tiny box that Viktor took everywhere. It had propped up on the counter so that he could see it. The display showed a woman draped in flowing black silk, her dark hair twisted up and a silver crown around her head like a moon. The woman held herself regally, like royalty. She was singing powerfully in a style that he always heard drifting from other parts of the house. Viktor liked this type of music, he knew.  
The woman was ethereal; captivating. Somehow she was able to make dramatic movements while belting out difficult strings of notes. The chorus was Yuuri’s favorite part. It sounded like a bird, almost- high low, high low. She hit every single note with precision, and he couldn't help but wonder how it was possible for someone to be so good at something they did.  
To Yuuri’s disappointment, the ending came. The queen stormed off of the stage. To his delight, however, Viktor popped his head in the doorway moments later. He felt his heart do a little happy jump when he saw his face. Viktor said something in his language that sounded like a question. Humans raised the ends of their sentences when they were making an inquiry, Yuuri had observed. While he didn't fully understand what he was asked, he caught the word “like.” He'd pieced together that it meant having happy or pleasurable feelings towards something.  
Yuuri assumed that Viktor had asked if he liked the moving picture with the music, and nodded, smiling. Viktor picked up the little box and slid it into a pocket of his clothing. His fluffy pet sidled up to Yuuri, who patted his head softly. He made a little noise as if he remembered something, and then left the room in a rush. Yuuri sighed wistfully as he watched him go.  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
Viktor was surprised. Usually when he showed people an opera piece that he liked, they just smiled politely.  
“It's nice,” they would say, although they were thinking, “I didn't like it at all, but I don't want to hurt his feelings.” (As if he couldn't tell. Why couldn't people just say what they actually thought?)  
But not Yuuri. He'd actually looked like he was being sincere. He liked the music. It was one of Viktor’s favorite pieces, although let's be honest, he said that about all of them. It was “The Queen of the Night” from The Magic Flute. He admired the skill it took to properly perform it, as well as the stirring melody. As he descended the stairs, he couldn't help beaming like an idiot when Yuuri’s voice humming the song came floating down to him. The merman was coming out of his shell, and he was elated.  
Viktor reached the bottom of the stairs and took a right. He was having a hard time remembering where he had placed what he was looking for. He swiveled the knob on the door leading to his storage closet. Carefully, he rifled through the stacked, dusty canvases. Some were blank, but most were painted on. Where was it? He could have sworn he'd seen it here last. Ah. There it was. He drew it out, triumphant, and shut the door.  
The painting was relatively small, about 8x12 inches. It depicted the Queen of the Night, her arms outstretched demandingly and cruelly to her daughter. Viktor had done this one right after he'd heard the aria for the first time, back in college. Looking back at it now, he could see all of the flaws in his style and execution, but he hoped that Yuuri would love it as much as he had when he'd first painted it.  
Viktor clutched the painting close to his chest as he climbed the stairs. When he'd seen that Yuuri liked the song, he'd been reminded of this painting and just had to show him. Having the musty smelling art in his arms brought back the emotions he'd had when he first did the piece; the overwhelming, raw feeling of being inspired and wanting to create. With a twinge of melancholic nostalgia, he recalled what it was like to be younger and overflowing with a gift that he'd wanted to share with the world. What he wouldn't give to have even a modicum of that zeal back.  
When Viktor stepped into the bathroom, Yuuri's humming immediately came to a halt. The merman looked rather embarrassed, and Viktor felt guilty for making him retreat back to his shyness. Wait, he knew how to remedy this. He sung the aria softly, giving Yuuri a reassuring look. The mer bit his lip, and then joined in tentatively. They were both horribly off pitch and squeaky on the high notes, but Viktor couldn't have been happier.  
They trailed off, and Viktor opened his arms to display the painting. Yuuri's eyes when wide when he saw it. He leaned over the lip of the tub to get a better look.  
“It's for you,” Viktor announced. Hopefully the mer would get the idea by his actions. He bent down, placed the painting against the cabinet, waited to see if it would stay, and then raised himself. He didn't let his pain show, but his neck was hurting again. He forgot the ache when he saw Yuuri’s pleased face. When he looked at him, it was like his heart had been jump started.  
Viktor noticed that Yuuri was wearing his hair back again, showing his face. He'd been doing that lately. He really was beautiful… Yuuri gestured gracefully to the painting and then touched his chest as if to ask, “For me?” Viktor dipped his head, and the merman gave a small grin, full of gratitude. He leaned towards the mer and hugged him gently. To his pleasant astonishment, Yuuri embraced him back for the first time ever.  
Viktor dropped to his knees and instinctively snuggled his chin into the crook of Yuuri’s neck. This all seemed so surreal. He could feel the mer’s heart pulsing wildly, the blood pumping through his carotid artery. He could also feel Yuuri’s damp gills moving slightly against his cheek. The merman was so close to him… He could feel his cool breath on his own neck. He squeezed his eyes shut, cursing himself. Out of all the doomed romances he had pursued, this was probably going to be the most foolish and in vain.  
But there, being embraced by Yuuri, he didn't care in the slightest. Suddenly, he was pushed away and was being held at arm's length. The merman had such a serious, determined look on his face.  
“Yuuri like Bikkutoru,” he declared. It took a second for Viktor to process what had just been said to him. This newfound confidence was so uncharacteristic of Yuuri. He wondered where it had come from all of a sudden. The mer was waiting with bated breath, anxiety flickering over his face like shadows cast by firelight.  
“I like you as well,” Viktor murmured. Yuuri’s face collapsed with relief, and he buried it into the taller man’s shoulder.  
Tenderly, Viktor ran a hand down Yuuri’s wet hair. He had the feeling that his life was beginning to change for the better.

 

(Tbc~ Next chapter is my favorite.)


	5. Purple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor washes Yuuri's hair, and Yuuri worries about the future.

Viktor sighed and pushed his bangs out of his face. They fell right back again. How was he supposed to finish this commission if he couldn't even see clearly? He couldn't locate a single barrette, and he had searched everywhere. The bangs were just long enough to be in his left eye. He really needed a trim, but he also really didn't want to go the trouble of finding a salon that he liked. 

 

Viktor made a decision and stood up. He needed a break from this painting anyway; it wasn't turning out like he wanted it to. He grabbed his sweater and pulled it on. It was always frigid upstairs. He climbed the creaky wood steps and turned into the bathroom. Yuuri looked up, and Viktor’s heart swelled. He flashed the merman a smile and then opened one of the drawers. It was a little cluttered- he really needed to sort it out. Ah, there they were. He withdrew a shiny pair of scissors and held them up to the light. They glinted softly. 

 

Leaning towards the mirror to see himself better, Viktor carefully brought the blades together. A half-inch chunk of hair floated into the sink. He attentively snipped a line under his eyebrow, and then made small vertical cuts to feather the ends. He stepped back to examine his handiwork. Not bad for DIY, he had to admit. His bangs were just short enough that they didn't get in his eye. 

 

Viktor noticed Yuuri staring at him in the mirror and then moved to face him. He bent down so that they could be at eye level, and the merman stretched out a dripping hand to feel the slightly shortened strands. He seemed thoroughly fascinated. The mer looked down to the scissors still gripped in Viktor’s hand and made a face as if he'd never seen anything like them before. (Which he probably hadn't, Viktor realized.) 

 

Viktor held them up so that the merman could get a better look. Yuuri took them and opened and closed them experimentally. He pulled his black hair over his shoulder and positioned the blades under his chin. Viktor quickly seized them before he could make a cut. He remembered how much he had regretted it after he'd cut his own long hair. It had been during a very low time in his life. He'd just cut off ties with his family, and had fallen into a deep depression. 

 

On a particularly bad night, Viktor had chopped off his hair without thinking. He'd missed so much. Sometimes he still found himself reaching to play with a ponytail that wasn't there. Yuuri was looking at him, confused. Viktor bit his lip. Maybe he could do something else with his hair? He took a fluffy white towel, draped it over the lip of the tub, and then gently guided Yuuri so that he rested his neck on it, his hair hanging down the side. 

 

Viktor pulled over one of the buckets he used to bring seawater (it was empty), and filled it up with lukewarm water from the tub faucet. He set it down and then motioned to Yuuri that he would be right back. The merman looked completely lost as to what was happening. Viktor went to his downstairs bathroom and grabbed shampoo, then looked under the sink and found leftover conditioner from back when he had long hair. He returned, and placed the bottles next to the bucket. 

 

There was a drain on the floor of Viktor's bathroom, and so he was going to wash Yuuri’s hair. The wet locks spilled over the edge of the tub like a waterfall. He lifted them up so that they didn't drag on the tile and squeezed some shampoo into his palm. Gently, he applied it to the mer’s scalp and worked up a lather. The merman closed his eyes and relaxed with a pleasured sigh. 

 

Viktor gently massaged his head, and Yuuri let out a soft noise that sounded almost like a purr. Did merfolk purr? He had no idea, but the mer looked like he was enjoying himself, so he continued. He was extremely careful not to press too hard or scratch the mer; he didn't want to hurt him at all. Eventually his fingers got tired and he had to reluctantly stop. He moved to grab the bucket and saw that Yuuri had opened his eyes and was trying to mask his disappointment. 

 

‘He's so adorable,’ Viktor thought. He placed his hand on the mer's forehead to protect is eyes from the shampoo, and then slowly poured half of the water over his hair to wash out the suds. When there were no bubbles left, he put a dollop of conditioner in his hand and worked it through the ends of Yuuri’s thick hair. He held up the bottom half and poured the rest of the water over it. 

 

Viktor placed a hand on the merman’s shoulder and helped him sit upright.  
“Sit up here,” he requested, smiling, and patted the towel on the edge of the tub. Yuuri seemed to understand, and hoisted himself up onto the lip of the tub, his back to Viktor. Viktor stood and took a comb from one of the drawers on the cabinet. He kneeled and pulled it through the ends of the mer's hair. Slowly, he worked his way up. The comb glided through almost entirely effortlessly. 

 

Yuuri had his eyelids lowered again. He looked so peaceful and calm. His pink lips were parted and he was breathing deep and rhythmically, the inhales and exhales sounding like the gentle ambience of the waves. Viktor combed down the entire length and wondered what it would be like to brush it when it was dry and fluffy. He could probably play with it for hours if it was dry. It was much too heavy when it was wet, though. There wasn't much you could do with wet hair that lengthy. If you braided it, the weight from the water would prevent it from keeping its shape, and it would just slip back to that way it was before. 

 

Viktor reached back and grabbed the scissors off of the counter. Yuuri didn't really need a trim (he suspected that merfolk hair was strong enough that it didn't get split ends), but he could even it out a little. He made sure that all of the mer's hair was smoothed down flat, and then marked a spot an inch from the bottom with the comb so that he could use it as a guide. He tilted his head back to make sure it was level before he started. 

 

Viktor didn't want to mess up, so he focused intently on what he was doing. Cautiously, he snipped a line directly underneath the comb. Short, wet pieces of hair fell to the floor. He then moved on to the next section and cut there, making sure the lengths matched. He continued until he got to the other side, and then scooted back to see if it was even. It was, but there were a few tag ends. They were snipped off, and Viktor carded his fingers through the mer’s hair, which was a little drier than it had been.

 

Yuuri had been perfectly still the whole time Viktor was cutting, but he glanced behind him when he felt hands in his hair. He saw that the other man was playing with it, and turned back with a small smile and rosy cheeks. Viktor loved the soft feeling of Yuuri's hair as he ran his fingers through. It was gorgeous. He'd never dated anybody with long hair before. He hoped that Yuuri would like what he'd done. 

 

He drew the hair over the mer's shoulder and traced a finger down his back. Scales lined his spine and under his scapulae like shining purple stars.  
“Beautiful..” Viktor breathed softly, not intending to speak his thoughts out loud. His fingers ghosted over the bumpy surface of the scaly areas. He hugged Yuuri tightly around the waist, pressing his cheek against his cool back and resting his hands on his chubby belly. 

 

Yuuri interlaced his fingers with Viktor’s, the light blue membranes between them stretched against the other’s knuckles. Viktor closed his eyes, smiling contently. 

 

Maybe it was time for him to start doing paintings other than commissions again.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Yuuri was feeling the ends of his hair. (Viktor had left reluctantly; Yuuri guessed that he had gone to go cook dinner.) He’d never had scissors touch it in his life, so the blunt edges were something foreign to him, and he couldn't stop touching them. Whatever Viktor had put in it had made it so silky to the touch. His cheeks heated at the memory of him washing his hair so tenderly. He wasn't used to being the center of anyone's attention. 

 

Yuuri usually faded into the background and hoped that nobody would notice him. But Viktor treating him like a prince had made him unspeakably happy. The human actually cared, although he couldn't really understand why. He was so plain and shy and unattractive. Why would anyone waste their time and care on him?

 

Yuuri laid down on his stomach, his face submerged, and floated there, groaning quietly. How soon before Viktor decided that he was bored with him and kicked him out?, his anxiety asked him. His cuts had been healed for a while now, but Viktor never asked him to leave and Yuuri didn't want to go back. 

 

Did anyone even miss him or care that he was gone? Probably not, after what he did. He was an embarrassment of a son. But what was he supposed to have done? He didn't want to marry some elite mermaid that he'd never met before, just for the sake of preserving family ties and raising his status.

 

Poor girl. Yuuri felt bad for her. She was probably perfectly lovely. Yuuri had a panic attack the day of the wedding and ran away, unable to face his problems as usual. And then he had gone off drinking and now was in this situation. How could he go back and marry her now? There would forever be Viktor’s face, haunting him. 

 

Yuuri wanted to stay with Viktor forever. But he couldn't. He would have to go back eventually; he couldn't spend the rest of his life in a bathtub. Yuuri gave an agitated flick of his tail. Why did he have to be a merman? If he was a human and had met Viktor, there would have been far less obstacles. 

 

Maybe this was just karma. The universe decided that since Yuuri had backed out of his arranged marriage, he was now condemned to an impossible love. 'This is what I deserve,’ Yuuri thought bitterly. Angry tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. Well, screw the universe then! He was going to cherish all the time with Viktor that he possibly could, damnit.


	6. Gray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor and Yuuri offer some comfort to each other.

Viktor stepped inside and quickly shut the door to keep the cold from getting in. He set the mail on the table. Off came the jacket, then the scarf, then the gloves, and lastly the boots. He breathed in the warm air deeply and exhaled. Going to his mailbox was such a hassle in the winter. It was only twenty degrees outside, and the mailbox was up the hill that his house was built on. 

With icy fingers, Viktor sifted through the envelopes. Bills, bills, advertisements- and then there, at the bottom of the stack, a letter postmarked from Saint Petersburg. He stared at it, frozen; his ever-present smile dropped. Hands shaking, he tore it open. There was his mother’s heartbreakingly familiar, loopy handwriting. 

A lump formed in Viktor’s throat.  
“My dear Vitya,” it began. The diminutive form of his name was like a stab to the chest. “We miss you so much back home. I implore you to reconsider your decisions and lifestyle and return to us. You do not have to keep being a homosexual. We can find you a great therapist here in Russia that can help you get better. Please, Vitya. Stop this foolishness. We just love you and want what’s best for you.” 

Viktor’s eyes narrowed and he stopped reading. Without a sound, he unceremoniously dropped the letter into the trash can. He tried to smile as he walked up the stairs, but it kept faltering and breaking. From reading a couple of sentences, all of the memories he'd pushed away and tried to forgotten had flooded back. All of the nights that he'd cried, alone and hungry after being yelled at about his sexuality. All of the friends he'd lost when they'd found out, and the different, cold way they treated him afterwards. 

Viktor had travelled to America to attend art school, and after he graduated he realized that he could live a happier life without keeping close ties with his family. He recognized that they would never accept or support him, even if they thought they were doing what was best for him. One of the hardest things he'd ever had to do was break off communication, but it had to be done if he wanted to preserve his mental health. He cared about them a lot still, but he couldn't go back. These letters that periodically arrived just dug up things that he'd strived to forget.

Head down, Viktor stepped into the bathroom. The tile was cold under his bare feet. Immediately, Yuuri knew that something was wrong.  
“Bikkutoru?” His tentative voice was brimming with worry. Viktor gave a small smile. He had instinctively come up here when he needed comfort; it hadn't been a conscious decision. He stripped down to nothing and turned up the thermostat so that he wouldn't freeze. With two little splashes, he entered the tub. The water lapped halfway up his calves, ripples fanning out from where he'd disturbed it. 

Yuuri was watching with huge eyes. When he met Viktor’s gaze he quickly turned away, cheeks flushed pink. Viktor gradually lowered himself, trying to slowly adjust to the temperature. Man, it was cold! But he needed this. He pulled Yuuri onto his lap and wrapped an arm around his waist. The merman squeaked softly in surprise, but didn't resist. He was stiff for a second, but relaxed rapidly. He looked up at Viktor, concern in his chocolate eyes as he studied him for a sign of what was the matter. 

Viktor gave a false smile and moved his head so that the mer couldn't see his face. His vision began to grow blurry; he blinked and two droplets ploinked into the water. He was crying? He hadn't thought that he cared this much anymore. A cold, wet hand touched his cheek and gently guided his head back so that Yuuri could look at him. More tears came, falling like rain. The merman looked helpless, as if he didn't know what to do. 

Yuuri kissed Viktor’s cheek delicately and trailed a hand down his chest lightly, stopping above his heart. His fingers curled and he rested his head against the taller man’s shoulder. Viktor pulled his arms around him protectively. His cheek tingled where the mer had pressed his gentle lips against it. Trembling slightly from the erratic breathing his crying was causing, he stroked the ruffles on the fin running down Yuuri’s back. 

Yuuri’s eyes were closed. ‘He looks like an angel,’ Viktor thought. He belonged in his arms; it felt so perfect and right. The sensations of the cold water and his cramping leg melted away. Although different species, the pair of them fit together so naturally. This was where he was supposed to be. He realized that it didn't matter that his family wouldn't take him as he was. As long as Yuuri accepted him and cherished him, then nothing else mattered. 

Viktor's silent sobs eventually came to a halt. The mer looked up and stretched out his hand to wipe away the tears. (Although it was wet and it just made the problem worse.) Viktor caught it and held it against his face. He gave a smile, but this time it was genuine. The merman flashed one back, his eyes shining, and threw his dripping arms around Viktor’s neck.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The human returned the embrace and tightened his arms around Yuuri, who sighed contently. He was elated that he'd given Viktor some comfort. It had hurt his heart to watch him cry. Seeing those droplets falling down his partner’s face had made him want to start weeping as well, even though he didn't know what Viktor was upset about. It must have been something that affected him deeply. He normally hid his negative emotions well. 

Yuuri had overflowing empathy for Viktor. He knew all too well what it was like to feel so hopeless that you just couldn't dam the tears. When his depression was lashing out its venom, he'd desperately wished that he had someone to hold him close and give him consolation. Now, he did have someone. They could be there for each other. Until… 

Yuuri pushed the thought back. Instead of thinking about their inevitable parting, he tried to clear his head. He was going to live in the moment. He leaned into Viktor’s muscular chest. It felt so safe there, as if nothing could harm him. He threaded his webbed fingers through the cropped hair at the nape of Viktor’s neck. It felt so strange. None of the merfolk had short hair. He loved it, though. It was a part of Viktor, and he loved every inch of him; from the small wrinkles under his eyes to his smooth, scaleless skin to his paint-stained hands. 

Yuuri loved Viktor’s body even though it was very different from his own. Correction: especially because it was different. Seeing him naked really made him realize just how unalike they were. His own form had rounded edges and curves, while Viktor had more thew and litheness. Besides that, there were the more obvious differences.. He could feel one of those differences pressing against his tail, and the thought of it made his cheeks heat. It was such a strange reaction. After all, merfolk never wore clothes. He should be used to nudity by this point. 

Yuuri was still flooded with a bubbly, jumpy feeling whenever he made contact with Viktor. It was a billion times better than the alcohol had been. It filled him with a warm… happiness from the tips of his fin to the top of his head. It made his heart beat in a frenzy and his head spin. It was something that he had never felt before he met Viktor. It seemed to be reserved only for him. He wondered if Viktor got the same sensations. 

‘Probably not,’ Yuuri’s anxiety told him, and his gut gave a sickening twist. ‘I bet he's had so many partners that he doesn't feel that anymore. More attractive partners.’ He scolded himself. ‘Don't start feeling special. You're just like all the others.’ He reluctantly pushed the human away, feeling down. His wet hair still clung to Viktor’s chest. 

Viktor must have noticed the sadness in Yuuri’s eyes, because he murmured his name in a slightly wounded tone. The merman looked down, brows scrunched up. He felt the human’s graceful fingers under his chin and lifting his head. He shifted his eyes up and was met with those stunning, sea-blue ones. They were full of an emotion that Yuuri couldn't identify. He'd seen it before, but never directed at him. It was passionate and powerful and alluring and tender all at once. It was so intense that he felt his insecurities fade into the background. 

And then Viktor was leaning closer and closer, and Yuuri’s eyes almost crossed trying to focus on him. The human’s lips made contact with his and it was so warm and those azure eyes closed, but his were still open. The chaste kiss only lasted a few seconds. Yuuri was left with his mouth slightly agape in surprise, the sweet taste of Viktor lingering there. His heart was pounding wildly in his rib cage, about to burst out it seemed. Stunned, he tried to comprehend what had just happened. When his head caught up his face grew warm, and he was sure it was red. 

Viktor gave a somewhat cheeky grin, and Yuuri reciprocated a dazed one. The merman laughed breathlessly. The human shifted under him to stretch his legs straight out, and Yuuri curled his tail around them gently. He then leaned against the back of the tub, and the mer in turn rested his head on his chest. They cuddled there in comfortable silence, feeling each other’s hearts beating.


	7. Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leaving many words unspoken, Yuuri and Viktor part ways.

Yuuri was floating on his back, staring up at the ceiling of the room. It was angled at a slant, with large wooden beams holding it up. There was a window up there, and through it he could see the night sky. The black was beginning to fade into dark blue, signaling that dawn was coming soon. The stars twinkled brightly, and he wished that he could see all of them, but a wall of plaster was obscuring them from view. Wistfully, he wondered what it would be like to sprawl out on the fine sand with Viktor and count stars. He envisaged them gazing out at the endless indigo canvas above them and being at peace with their place in the vast universe. They would never have a chance to make that happen, though. 

Yuuri sighed, dejected, and flipped over, face submerged. His gills filtered the water, sluggishly opening and closing. He needed to leave soon. The longer he waited, the harder it would be to go. He knew enough of Viktor’s language to ask him to take him back to the sea, but he was stalling. ‘One more day,’ he kept telling himself. ‘I'll just take one more day with Viktor, and then I'll ask to go tomorrow.’ But then tomorrow came and he told himself the same thing, Viktor’s warm embrace causing him to procrastinate. 

A hard knot formed in Yuuri’s chest like a rock whenever he thought about leaving, crushing his lungs and threatening to suffocate him. How would Viktor react? ‘Maybe he won’t even care,’ his anxiety spat. ‘You're just a burden to him; it'll be a relief. He can just get somebody better than you in a heartbeat.’ He attempted to shove these thoughts to the back of his head, but they still hung over him like a dark, ominous cloud. 

Yuuri nervously twisted a lock of hair around his finger and racked his brain, trying to think of any possible way that he could be with Viktor, but there were none. It's not like he could turn himself into a human, and even if there was a way to turn Viktor into a merman, he would never ask that of him. 

Contrary to what a lot of human folklore depicted (from what Yuuri had seen), merfolk did not actually have magic. He desperately wished that they did, but it simply wasn't true. He couldn't conjure up a solution, or cast a spell to whisk away all his problems. If only he could… He flicked his tail, agitated. 

How was Yuuri supposed to just casually tell Viktor that he needed to leave? He'd already decided that he should be detached and cold so that the human felt like he could forget about him. The notion dug into his heart and made him want to weep, but he desired Viktor to be able to move on and find a different partner. A human partner, one who wasn't so insecure. 

From underwater, Yuuri felt the vibration of Viktor coming up the stairs, and he shot upright. Shimmering water droplets flew everywhere. His heart was hammering like crazy in his ribcage in anticipation and dread as he waited for the human to enter. When that beautiful face came into his line of sight, his pulse did a leap of joy (with a twinge of panic mixed in). 

Viktor was wearing a baggy maroon top with the sleeves rolled up and comfortable looking bottoms. Both were covered in splotches of fresh paint. They were mostly blue, purples, and blacks, Yuuri noted somewhere in the part of his brain that was functioning at full capacity. Looking at the human’s lovely self had put him in an almost dream-like state. Within it, he was almost able to forget all his woes and worries. Almost. 

Viktor was bearing a plate full of open shellfish. The slightly sweet scent of oyster filled Yuuri’s nose, breaking the trance and dragging him back to reality. A wave of nausea swept over him as he remembered what he had to do. It was one thing to think about asking to go back, but now that Viktor was standing there, so close to him… He didn't know if he had the strength to leave. He had come to rely on him to fill a hole in his heart that had long been empty. 

Viktor generously supplied Yuuri with unconditional comfort, kindness, and support. How was he supposed to live without that, now knowing what he'd been missing? How could he go back to the relentless, crushing loneliness and depression after experiencing what life could be like if you had a partner to share it with? But he was going to throw that all away. He didn't deserve Viktor's affection, he was sure of it. 

The human set the plate onto the counter with a click. Yuuri swiftly averted his gaze when Viktor moved closer. He couldn't bear to meet his eyes. It hurt too much.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Something was amiss; Viktor was sure of it. Yuuri was normally glad to see him, and greeted him with cheerful smiles and excited splashes. But today, it was if the merman was ignoring him. He hadn't even acknowledged him when he walked in, and refused to make eye contact. The merman's hands were wringing nervously, and his tail fin was sweeping back and forth. 

Viktor kneeled down in front of Yuuri, his stiff knees and hips groaning, and scanned his face.  
“Yuuri, what's wrong?” he asked seriously. The mer bit his lip and disregarded the question, eyes dark and conflicted with purple shadows under them. It seemed that he hadn't gotten much sleep. Viktor clamped his hands gently on Yuuri’s cheeks and turned his head so that they were facing each other. “Yuuuuri,” he murmured flatly. The merman remained unresponsive, and he sighed. If he didn't know what the problem was, all he could do was offer some physical comfort.

Viktor pulled Yuuri in for a tight hug, and the cold side of the tub pressed against his belly. Tenderly, he carded his fingers through the mer’s wet curtain of hair, trying to soothe him. He usually liked it when he did that, seeming to melt under Viktor's touch and purring like a cat. Today, however, the mer didn't react at all. In fact, he seemed not to really notice. Drenched arms curled up against Viktor's sweater and the form began shuddering. The shaking was joined by irregular breathing, and muffled sobs began to echo through the bathroom. 

‘Go on,’ Viktor encouraged in his head. ‘Get it out. It's okay to cry.’ He tried to remember if something had happened yesterday that could have upset Yuuri. If his memory served him correctly, when he'd said goodnight the evening before, the merman had confidently planted a kiss on his lips and grinned cheekily. Viktor had left smiling dopily and blushing like a fifteen year old in love. 

No, nothing bad had happened, so Yuuri must be feeling anxious. It pained Viktor to see him like this. He knew what it was like when your mind took a dark turn down the twisted path of worry. With all his heart, he wished that the merman could know that he was deeply cared about and loved. Yes, loved, he realized with a radiating feeling that warmed him to the core. 

Viktor opened his mouth to tell Yuuri about his epiphany, but the words died on his lips when the mer abruptly pushed him away. The merman was covering his mouth as he cried, his eyes closed and his red face contorted in misery, eyebrows screwed together. ‘What should I do?’ Viktor didn't know how to help if physical consolation wasn't working. That normally eased away most of Yuuri's anxiety. Words of affirmation wouldn't be very effective, considering that the merman only knew about a dozen words of human speech. 

“Yuuri,” Viktor coaxed softly, a note of concern in his voice. What on earth was bothering the merman so much? The mer swallowed audibly.  
“Must go home,” he choked out in a hoarse voice. Viktor blinked. His heart thundered in his chest, and his mouth went dry.  
“What?” he asked, unsure if he had heard correctly.  
“Must go home,” Yuuri repeated, his voice breaking. 

Guilt wormed its way through Viktor's stomach. Did the merman hate living with him? Had he been silently yearning to go this entire time? He felt selfish for keeping Yuuri all to himself. He should have taken him back to the ocean the second that his wounds had healed, and not gotten attached. Although he had tried not to think about it, he had known this day would come. He shouldn't be surprised. 

With a dip of his head and a fixed smile on his face, Viktor left the room to go grab some things. He stumbled on his way down the stairs, and Makkachin looked at him with a curious, worried expression. First, he pulled on his warm jacket, boots and gloves. It wasn't as cold as it had been, but it was still below freezing outside. Every move that he made was shaky, and he felt sick to his stomach. Next, he searched his bedroom for the softest blanket that he could find. Clutching a thick, fluffy red quilt, he tapped back up the steps and used it to wipe away a tear. 

When Viktor returned to the bathroom, Yuuri’s hair was covering his face. He hadn’t worn it that way in months… His head was bowed, and the trembling in his shoulders suggested that he was still weeping. Seeing him in such a sorry state broke Viktor's heart. Was this all his fault? Just yesterday, the mer had seemed so content..

Viktor laid the blanket onto the tiled floor and smoothed it out, then scooped up Yuuri in his arms and laid him down gingerly, being especially careful about his head and neck. He folded the blanket loosely around the merman and then picked him up like a bride. The blanket would make him less slippery and easier to carry. Yuuri was heavy, but Viktor didn't mind. This could potentially be the last time that he held him in his arms. The mer shuffled slightly and pulled the quilt over his head like a hood. 

With a heavy heart, Viktor began his descent down the stairs. It felt almost like walking to the guillotine. He wished that Yuuri wasn't hiding his face, wanting to drink up those chocolate eyes and pink lips as long as he could. He didn't care in the slightest how splotchy his face was at the moment. Sniffling slightly, he nuzzled his cheek against the merman's covered head and pulled him closer to his body. A tear splattered onto the blanket. 

Viktor hadn't even realized that he'd begun crying. He padded across the carpeted room and maneuvered Yuuri so that he could grab the doorknob. With a twist and a yank, the door was open. Freezing air blasted against him, biting especially the track where the water droplet had slid down his face. Tentatively, he navigated the icy porch and steps. If he slipped, he wasn't sure that he would be able to get up again, especially holding Yuuri. 

Viktor sighed as he began clambering down the old trail that led to the beach. It was a beaten dirt path, with roots sticking out, and the occasional log for support from erosion. Every heavy step that he took brought him a foot closer to goodbye. A snowflake floated down from through the madrona branches above him and stuck to Yuuri’s blanket. Instead of thawing it stayed there, perfect and untouched.

Gradually, the incline began to level out, and Viktor exited the trees. The wind on the beach was blowing powerfully, kicking up sand and swirling the snow that had begun to fall. The tide crashed against the rocks on the shore, and seagulls rode the air currents above. Viktor trudged through the sand and wished that he could shield his face from the icy gales. It was alright though, he mused. He felt mostly numb anyways, and not just from the cold. 

Viktor reached a rock at the edge of the water and carefully set Yuuri onto it. The merman still would not look at him. He lowered the quilt from over the mer's head and combed his black hair out of his face.  
“Yuuri,” he whispered, just loud enough to be heard over the waves and the wind. He leaned closer. “Please, please come and visit me. I'll wait for you,” he implored with a hopeful, desperate smile, and searched Yuuri’s face for a sign that he understood. He couldn't tell. 

Viktor kissed Yuuri sadly, but the mer only received it and didn't return it. The merman tore his lips away and unwrapped the blanket from around his body, avoiding eye contact. Without so much as a word, Yuuri gracefully leapt off of the rocks and disappeared into the churning sea. 

Viktor was left there alone and shattered, tears mingling with the salty spray of the surf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaa this took so long to write! Hope you guys like it, though.


	8. Indigo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Viktor keep finding reminders of each other everywhere.

Viktor tapped his chin gently, deep in thought. His eyes had deep shadows under them as if he hadn't gotten good sleep in a long time, and the atmosphere around him was melancholic. Sitting in front of him was a blank canvas, completely white and free of paint. What should he fill that space with? He laughed bitterly under his breath. He already knew. No matter what concept he began with, he ended up with a heart-breakingly familiar merman with long, black hair. 

 

In one, Yuuri was sprawled out on the black and white tile, covered with blue roses. In another, he was atop a rock facing away from the viewer, his hair tangled in the ocean breeze. A particularly stirring one featured a human with silver hair and shining aquamarine eyes kneeling on a sandy beach. The sky was overcast and stormy, but a beam of light shone from a parting in the heavens. 

 

The painting highlighted the merman in the human’s arms, his glittering tail curled around his partner; together in the only spot of brightness. Both had serene, peaceful expressions on their faces at first glance. Underlying, however, was a note of desperation. They knew they were running out of time.

 

Viktor’s favorite piece, as well as the one that caused the most gut-wrenching pain, was an acrylic one with soft lines. There was Yuuri, slightly self-conscious and with cheeks tinged pink. His hair was pushed back to reveal that beautiful face, with its expressive eyes and round edges. It caught the merman in a moment of surprise and vulnerability, depicting when Viktor had seen him for the first time without his face obscured by dark locks. 

 

This was the painting that Viktor had been working on the day Yuuri left. He'd hoped to show him, but he'd never gotten a chance. Now, it leaned against his wall as a constant reminder of who he had lost. As usual, he didn't post any pictures of his pieces on social media before they debuted at an art show (he had gotten accepted into several); however, he did text them to Chris to get his opinion. 

 

‘Who's this new guy you're so obsessed with? ;)’ he'd responded immediately. Viktor had no clue how to reply to that. Should he say the truth? Would Chris even believe him if he did? He kept forgetting to write back, and every time he opened his messaging app he got a guilty sinking feeling.

 

Viktor delicately picked up a paintbrush and lightly tapped the wooden end against his nose, eyes rolled up at the ceiling. He had a vague idea of what he wanted to paint. After Yuuri had left, there were still reminders of him left everywhere. Nestled in the folds of the red quilt that he'd carried the merman in, he'd discovered a small indigo scale. He had placed the iridescent little plate into a small box for safekeeping; he'd never forgive himself it if was lost. 

 

Sometimes, Viktor found long strands of pitch-black hair stuck to his clothes or tangled in his comb, and he'd remember how much he loved to play with Yuuri’s hair. Then there was the “Queen of the Night” painting- he had left it in the upstairs bathroom. It seemed a little cruel to return it to the musty confines of a storage closet. He never went to the second floor unless he had to. It made him sick with grief and guilt. 

 

Another reminder of Yuuri, and perhaps the one that caused Viktor the most agony, was also in a small box, this one resting on his dresser. Inside was a bracelet, carefully wrapped in tissue paper. The pearls were natural and irregular-shaped, shining purpley-black with touches of pink and blue. A silver clasp connected the ends. The jewelry was meant to be a gift for Yuuri. He could see it fitting perfectly at the bottom of his tail, right above his fin. The mer had left before he had a chance to give it to him. 

 

Viktor had kept it on the small flicker of hope that he would see Yuuri again. In the back of his mind, he had the nagging thought that the merman was not going to return. He ignored it, and ventured down to the sea every day without fail, rain or shine or snow, and waited for hours. ‘Maybe today's the day that he'll come and visit me,’ he would think, desperate yet optimistic. But it never was. He would stare out at the tossing waves, praying to see a shining flash of blue or a pale face poking out of the water. 

 

Anything, anything, just a sign to show that Yuuri still cared. But what if he didn't? He hadn't even said goodbye, and he had treated Viktor so coldly when he left… what if he had never cared in the first place? No. Viktor refused to believe that. Yuuri hadn't been pretending all that time, he was sure of it. The merman liked him, at least a little. So then why? Why had he gone without so much as a word and why hadn't he come to see him? 

 

This was the carouseling thought process that Viktor had been cycling through for weeks. It only served to deepen his confusion and grief. He squeezed blue and purple hued paint out of tubes and onto his palette, then mixed them into a rich indigo. The same color as the scale that Yuuri had left behind. With a tentative hand, he raised the paintbrush to the canvas. 

 

The title, he decided, would be Être Fleur Bleue. Feeling sentimental. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Yuuri! Hey Yuuri, where are you?” a friendly voice called. Panic jolted through Yuuri, and he frantically scanned the kelp grove he was resting in for a place to hide. He had no desire to be confronted by his friend. He saw a marble statue that he could duck behind, but it was too late. Phichit was quickly pumping his scarlet tail to propel himself over. “Hey!” he greeted breathlessly. 

 

Yuuri gave a nervous smile.  
“Hello,” he responded, eyes shifting as they searched for escape. Phichit grinned and pushed his long black hair out of his face to no avail. It floated around him in the water like ink.  
“Do you want to come swim with me?” he chirped, but didn't wait for an answer. “Come on, let’s go!” He grabbed the other merman's hand and tugged him along. Yuuri had no choice but to follow. 

 

Phichit was floating on his back, lazily flicking his tail. His gold, crescent-shaped caudal fin drifted behind him, gently flipping up and down. Swarms of colorful fish swarmed above them, scales catching the light filtering down like a rainbow. Phichit’s scales glimmered like tiny rubies.  
“Yuuri,” he purred slyly.  
“Hm?” Yuuri asked, distracted.  
“Something’s on your mind,” the other mer chimed knowingly. Yuuri sighed sadly and didn't say anything. He'd been thinking about how amazing it would be to swim with Viktor like this, spinning and soaring through the water like dolphins, not a care in the world. It was a foolish dream. 

 

“I've been friends with you your whole life,” Phichit continued softly. “I can tell when something's bothering you. What is it?” Yuuri turned away and blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay. “I mean, you just disappeared for six months, and now you've come back out of the blue… We were all so worried about you..,” he trailed off, concern evident in his voice.  
“I-... I really don't want to talk about it,” Yuuri replied levelly. It was taking all his strength to keep his voice from wavering. 

 

“Why?” Phichit stopped and turned to face the other mer. “Please tell me. I'm here for you Yuuri, don't shut me out.” Yuuri averted his eyes, and felt soft hands clasp his own. “I care about you so much. When you left, I-” Phichit inhaled, tremoring slightly. “I didn't know what I was going to do. I thought you might be- You might be-” He sobbed.  
“Please don't cry,” Yuuri whispered. It was bad enough that he had hurt Viktor, but since returning he realized how much he'd hurt the people close to him when he'd vanished. The memory of Viktor's anguished face was still fresh in his mind. 

 

Phichit laughed and took in a shaky breath.  
“I'm sorry. You've been acting so distant.. I just want my friend back.” He gave a small smile. “It pains me to see you so depressed.” Yuuri sighed through his gills. Phichit was so loyal, so earnest. He had always been there for him, even through the toughest times. He deserved to know what happened. 

 

“The night that I ran away, I got really drunk,” Yuuri mumbled. The other merman perked up and moved closer, listening intently. “I got beached and a human found me.” Phichit gasped.  
“Did they hurt you?” His tone was full of worry.  
“No, never. He was always very sweet to me. He took me to his house, and I lived with him.” Yuuri paused. “We grew close.” He decided not to divulge his feelings for Viktor.  
“Oh Yuuri..,” his friend murmured empathetically. Yuuri gulped and quietly added,  
“I miss him.” 

 

Phichit drew his companion into a tight hug.  
“Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me.” Through his heartache, Yuuri felt a little relief. It was nice to have told somebody. He pulled away reluctantly. It reminded him too much of how Viktor had embraced him to provide comfort whenever he was feeling sad or anxious. The human had been so warm… 

 

Phichit smiled, and Yuuri returned it gratefully.  
“So, have you decided what to do about the marriage arrangement?” his friend asked. Whatever positive feelings that had risen in him drained out in an instant.


	9. White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri attempts to cut off ties with Viktor and forget about him.

Yuuri meandered down the dimly lit hallway of his family’s home, careful to be silent as he passed his parents’ and older sister’s rooms. He did not want to wake them up and have to engage in a conversation. Bioluminescent sea jellies and squid dipped up and down as they transversed the length of the corridor, emitting a blue-violet glow. He reached the conclusion of the passage and took a left into another hall. At the end of it was a doorway with seaweed blocking it like a curtain. 

 

Yuuri pushed through the fronds, their slightly slimy tendrils clinging to him as he entered the circular room. With a sigh, he drifted down to the sandy floor, stirring up a small cloud as he settled. He had forgotten how much he missed this place. Eyes misty, he lifted his head to look at the familiar curved coral walls with ledges carved out of them. Resting on them were fierce mer weapons and armor that had been passed down through his family for generations. 

 

This was Yuuri’s favorite room. The armory. Ever since he was little, he had come here whenever he was feeling anxious and couldn't sleep. It was always empty, and had an aura of quiet peace over it that made him feel safe. This night in particular, he didn't seem to be able to slumber no matter how much he tossed and turned and changed positions. His mind kept wandering to the eminent wedding, making him too nauseous to sleep. 

 

That night at dinner, Yuuri’s mother had brought up the subject of the postponed marriage, asking him what he was planning to do. On the tip of his tongue had been the refusal to go through with it, but he had forced it back down. This union would raise his family’s status and make his parents happy. He did not deserve happiness, he told himself bitterly. Not after what he did to his family by running away, and not after what he did to Viktor. With heavy heart, he had reticently agreed to marry the mermaid bride that had been selected for him. 

 

The memory of Viktor’s bright, lovely face was torturing him. How could he just cast away the only person that he had ever truly loved? Yes, he loved him. If only had realized it sooner. He reminded himself that this was all for the best, that their relationship could never have worked, and that Viktor would soon be a distant (albeit painful) reminiscence. This marriage would be the surest way to forget about the stunning, kind human with the teal eyes. That's what he told himself, anyway. Just do the logical thing and go through with the nuptials. But his heart carried a different tune. ‘Go back to Viktor!’ it cried. It was as if his analytical and emotional sides were waging war. 

 

A tiny fish with glowing spots swam up and began nibbling on Yuuri’s nose. He softly guided it away. ‘I’m not dead yet, thanks.’ He sighed and flipped over onto his back, pulling his hair out from under him so that he wasn't lying on top of it. His hair. A pricking sensation began in the corners of his eyes as he began running his webbed fingers through the dark locks, feeling the blunt ends. 

 

Viktor had been so fond of Yuuri’s hair… He'd loved washing it, playing with it, touching it; one time he'd dried it all the way and put delicate braids and flowers in it. Yuuri’s hair had been constantly wet before that point. It had been such a strange feeling to have it be so fluffy and soft against his skin. The human had tenderly threaded his hands through for hours, to Yuuri’s great bliss and contentment. 

 

A lump began to form in his throat. Viktor had always touched him so gently, as if he was the most precious thing in the entire world. He'd made Yuuri feel important and special, two things he'd never known he'd been missing. The merman wondered if Viktor even still cared about him at all. Had he moved on already? Yuuri’s stomach churned at the thought. The human had probably forgotten all about the pathetic, ugly, nervous little creature that had selfishly taken up space. He was most likely courting a beautiful person that wasn't so timid about how they felt. 

 

Maybe Yuuri should move on as well and forget. No more pain, no more wishful thinking, no more hopeless longing. He needed to sever ties with Viktor. His adam’s apple bobbed as he gulped, heart racing like mad in his chest. In a trance, he swam up to one of the shelves and selected a knife. It was bone, with a curved blade and serrated edges that gleamed white in the dim light. A sad, close-lipped smile fixed on his face, he gripped the engraved handle until his knuckles went white. 

 

Hand shaking, Yuuri gathered his hair at the nape of his neck. Without taking a moment to think about what he was doing, he raised the knife to his mane and pulled the tresses taut against it. Jerkily, he began sawing through, not stopping for fear of losing the courage to finish. Even underwater, it made an awful slicing noise that made him cringe. Tears had begun to leak out of his eyes and dissolve into the water, but with all of the adrenaline pumping through his system, he hardly noticed. 

 

One final stroke of the blade, and the tail of hair was severed. Yuuri brought it out in front of him and stared at it in horror. When newly-shortened strands began floating around his head and obscuring his vision, the reality of what he had done sunk in. The tears flowed freely now, melting into the sea. A somber, empty smile was still plastered onto his face.

 

(~~~~~**~~~~~)

 

Phichit briskly pumped his tail to propel himself forward, using the drift from the gentle current as momentum. Elated, he let out a clear laugh, his heart light and his spirit merry. Sunlight from above the surface cast beautiful, moving patterns onto the seabed. Small fish of every hue swam alongside attempting to race him, but they were far too slow. He grinned gleefully and twirled in the water, holding his arms close to his body to decrease drag. 

 

Ah, the only thing that would make this better would be to have Yuuri there with him. Phichit had tried to locate his friend earlier that morning, but nobody seemed to know where he had gone. Worry gnawed at his stomach, and he told himself that Yuuri was probably fine. But he had been acting so depressed lately… He'd gone through this before, but it had gotten far worse after he'd returned. Phichit should go find him and see if he was doing okay. 

 

Hmm… Where did Yuuri like to hide? He tended to retreat to the kelp grove or his family's armory, but he'd already checked both of those locations, and the other merman was nowhere to be found. Phichit racked his brain. Where else? Well, there were the decaying remains of an old human pier that Yuuri sometimes frequented, the cave that they had played in when they were smaller, or the coral reef that was farther down the coast. The cave was the closest, so he would start there. 

 

Phichit swerved out of the current, tumbling and wheeling through the water when he exited. The cave was to the… East, if his memory served him correctly. Mission in his head, he quickly began swimming through the thick seaweed plants, some sticking to his scales. He pushed out of the thicket and gazed out over the relatively flat landscape. Ah, yes, this was starting to look familiar. Nostalgic memories of him and Yuuri when they were little ghosted through his mind. He hadn't been in this area for a long time. 

 

On the horizon, a large shape began to come into view as he approached it. Soon, he was in front of a ginormous, imposing rock jutting out of the sea floor. It stretched nearly to the eaves above, sloping upwards like a small mountain. There, about halfway up the craggy surface, was an opening that was difficult to spot unless you already knew it was there. He wriggled his crimson tail, swimming up to the entrance to the cave. It was just big enough for an adult mer to pass through horizontally comfortably. 

 

Phichit entered, his pelvic fins grazing the sides of the hole. He was considerably bigger than the last time he'd come here, when he was a little child. It was pitch black inside the small cavern, save for a beam of light streaming down from an opening far above.  
“Yuuri? Are you in here?” he called, peering into the darkness. Silence. He was turning to leave, disappointed, when he heard the soft clattering of shifting stones behind him. He whipped around just quickly enough to see a flicker of movement in the shadows. 

 

“Yuuri?” A muffled sob echoed through the chamber. Phichit darted toward the sound and groped blindly, trying to catch Yuuri. His hand closed around the shaft of a tail, right above the caudal fin. A yelp rung out, reverberating against the walls. The tail thrashed in his grip, but he wasn't letting go. With his free hand, he reached up and grabbed the other mer’s wrist securely, then released his tail. 

 

Phichit swam with powerful strokes into the light, dragging the struggling merman in tow. The soft luminescence from above illuminated the familiar purple and blue scales of his friend. He looked up to meet Yuuri’s eyes, and almost released his grip on the other merman’s wrist, jolted by what he saw.  
“Your hair!” he gasped, mouth slightly agape and eyes wide in shock. Yuuri bowed his head and looked off to the side. His hair was so, so short, hacked unevenly and floating around his head like an obsidian-colored halo. 

 

Phichit bit his lip, upset, and outstretched his unoccupied hand to touch the roughly sheared strands. He rapidly withdrew it when Yuuri flinched away.  
“Who did this to you?” he asked, concerned.  
“I did,” the other mer replied softly, and lifted his gaze to make eye contact. Phichit shivered. Those brown eyes were so empty and blank. It was like looking at a stranger.  
“But why?” he cried. A mer’s hair meant so much to them. It was a symbol of valor, strength, grace, and dignity; never to be cut. Chopping off your hair was like amputating a hand or a fin. Additionally, merfolk hair took a long time to grow, so it could take up to ten years to return to the length it had been before. 

 

“I felt like it,” Yuuri finally responded in a voice that was threatening to break. A fake smile was on his lips, even as tears seeped from his red eyes and dissipated into the water. “I'm fine, really,” he added weakly. Phichit gritted his teeth, frustration rising.  
“You are clearly not fine. All this misery and suffering for a human? I don’t understand.” Awful silence filled the cavern, so thick that it weighed like a heavy blanket over the two of them. 

 

“Phichit, I- I-..” Yuuri swallowed, as if this was hard to say. “I loved him.”  
“What? A human?” came the response, but he held up his blue-webbed hand to indicate that he wasn't finished.  
“But- but I've moved on now,” he continued miserably. I’ll go through with the wedding, and forget about him entirely.” Phichit moved closer and placed his hands on his friend’s shoulders.  
“And what, be unhappy the rest of you life?”  
“That's what I deserve, isn't it?”  
“No, Yuuri, it’s not!” he argued. Yuuri nodded, but Phichit could tell that he wasn't convinced at all. He then pushed past and whispered quietly,  
“I've got to go.” Phichit allowed him to leave the cave and watched his retreating back helplessly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy, just wait until next chapter :')


	10. Silver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor gets an unexpected visitor, and Phichit tries to convince Yuuri to go and visit the human.

Viktor’s phone buzzed for the hundredth time, but he couldn't be bothered to get up and check the notifications. No doubt they were just congratulations on his most recent gallery showing. Usually, praise boosted his confidence and made him full of giddy joy, but now… he just felt empty inside, and no amount of compliments and meaningless words could fill the void. Only one thing could, and that was Yuuri. Sweet Yuuri, whose smile lit up his world a thousand times more than any commendation could. 

Viktor was lying on his bed, arms spread out like a starfish as he looked up at the ceiling. Even more apathetic than his usual as of late, he didn't feel like doing anything. When he heard the doorbell ring, he nearly had a heart attack. Perhaps it was a package? But he didn't recall ordering anything… His phone vibrated angrily again from where it sat on the bedside table. Back creaking, he raised himself and grabbed it before stepping into his slippers and pulling the door open. 

Again, the doorbell chimed loudly, and Viktor quickened his pace.  
“I'm coming!” he called as he crossed the hardwood floor of the living room. Makkachin was by the front door, staring at it curiously with his tail swaying back and forth. With a pleasant facade, the silver-haired man opened the door. “Hello-” He blinked, and registered that Chris was standing there. His outer layer of false happiness collapsed.  
“I'm here! Could you help me get my suitcase up?” 

“Oh,” Viktor replied, dazed, and helped to maneuver the bulky, floral-print case up the steps and into the house. Chris stepped inside and pushed the door closed behind him. “Umm..” Viktor rubbed his chin as he watched his friend remove his boots and bend down to pet Makkachin. “Not to be rude, but what are you doing here?” he queried, smiling to mask his confusion. The other man looked up at him, a mildly amused expression on his face. 

“I told you I was coming, remember?” Viktor could not remember.  
“Ah, yes, of course,” he assured anyway. Chris smirked.  
“You forgot, didn't you?” he asked good-naturedly. Viktor chuckled quietly.  
“Guilty as charged,” he admitted. The Swiss man took in a deep breath as his gaze travelled over the room.  
“It's been a long time since I've been here,” he mused nostalgically.  
“Yes… We were much younger back then,” Viktor observed bittersweetly. Chris stood back up straight and laughed, full of vibrancy.  
“We’re still young! Our lives aren't even half over!”  
“Ha.” Viktor ran a hand through the hair that was beginning to show signs of thinning. “It doesn't always feel that way,” he responded ruefully, dry humor creeping into his tone.

Chris playfully rolled his eyes and changed the subject.  
“Where will I be staying?” Viktor tapped his chin as he pondered this.  
“The spare room upstairs is available, or a suppose you could share my room.”  
“Your boyfriend won't mind?” His friend winked cheekily.  
“Yuuri’s not really my boyfriend,” he explained as he turned to walk towards his bedroom. Chris trailed behind, and asked,  
“Fiancée then?” as they rounded the corner. 

“Not exactly that either.” The ache that had been lingering in Viktor's chest for weeks twisted like a knife. What had Yuuri considered their relationship as?  
“Well, what then?” He swallowed before he answered.  
“He… He left me.” He tried to utter the words with a bit of levity and nonchalance, but found it impossible.  
“Ah, that's a shame. You seem to put so much love into your paintings of him. You know, it's odd for you to get so broken up over someone.” 

Viktor didn't say anything, just pushed his bedroom door open. Chris dragged his suitcase to to the left side of the bed and laid it down.  
“Is that why you haven't been communicating with anyone?”  
“I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about,” Viktor lied innocently and blatantly. His friend scoffed.  
“Oh please. You haven't talked to anyone in a month, and you've only been posting art on Instagram.”

Viktor had a somber smile etched on his features.  
“Nobody genuinely cares. It's all superficial.”  
“On the contrary, there's lots of people that care. Me, for example. It's no wonder you didn't know I was coming, you probably haven't been reading your texts.”  
“I just haven't felt like talking to anyone lately..,” he apologized.

“Oh, Viktor.” Chris sighed. He laid back on the bed with his arms folded behind his head, eyes closed.  
“I'm going down to the beach, do you want to come?” Viktor invited cheerfully.  
“Ah, no thanks. I'm really tired from the trip.” Chris yawned, emphasizing his point. 

“I'll see you later, then.” Viktor left and closed the door softly. Makkachin was waiting for him, eagerly wagging his tail. “You ready to go?” he asked fondly, and ruffled the fur on his head. The poodle raced over to the door in anticipation, practically jumping up and down. His owner pulled on his Aldo shoes and tied the laces rapidly, then put on his double-breasted coat and buttoned it up. As he stepped outside, he wrapped a striped scarf around his neck. 

Viktor was wandering down the path when he suddenly came to a halt. Why was he doing this? What if Yuuri never came back? He shook his head and continued walking. No. He would see the merman that he'd fallen in love with again, he was sure if it. He just needed to keep a positive attitude and be patient, and eventually Yuuri would come to visit him. 

When Viktor exited the cover of the trees and stepped onto the beach, the sea was relatively calm. The sun peeking out from behind a cloud hinted that spring was just around the corner. He padded through the sand, Makkachin at his heels. Not really in a hurry, he looked at the ground as he made his way to the water, looking at the things that the tide had deposited on its journey out. Smooth stones, sand dollars, varnish clams with bright purple interiors, small fragments of shell and glass, and small tide pools hosted tiny little silver fish that darted about. There was so much diversity in marine life. 

Viktor reached the beginning of the rocky area and careful began maneuvering over and around the barnacle and limpet-encrusted boulders. He told Makkachin to stay back, away from the slippery, precariously balanced stones. The dog obliged but whined softly, not wanting to leave his master’s side. Viktor tediously navigated the terrain, testing his footing before putting weight on it so that he wouldn't fall. If he fell, he would not be able to get back up, and it would be hours before Chris would come to look for him. 

Soon, Viktor got to where the waves began gently lapping at the rocks. When he'd parted ways with Yuuri, the tide had been in, but today it was out, and still retreating back. He looked out at the water, the surface sparkling from the sun’s light reflecting off of it. ‘Beautiful,’ he thought. He was glad that he lived by the ocean. Ever since he was little, he'd always been fascinated by the sea and the life that it held. 

Now, however, a twinge of sadness came with seeing the foam-crested waves. Somewhere out there, fathoms below the surface, was Yuuri. Viktor wanted so desperately to see him again, even just for a second. He leaned against a larger rock for support and waited for a long while, the crashing crescendo of breakers slapping against the shore filling the silence. 

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Viktor saw something red flash in the sunlight, and heard an irregular splash. He whipped his head around, but couldn't spot anything unusual.  
“Yuuri?” he shouted hopefully over the sound of the sea, a huge grin on his face. But nothing happened, and his heart stopped beating excitedly and sank. Of course it wasn't Yuuri. It had been foolish to think it was the merman. He must have imagined it. Feeling lower than ever he smiled melancholily and began to trudge back. 

Back on the sand, Makkachin was busy terrorizing the local seagulls, although he thought it was a game. When he spotted Viktor, he abandoned the birds and trotted over, tail wagging.  
“Let’s go back.” Sensing his master’s distress, the dog stayed very close all the way home.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Phichit and Yuuri were eating lunch together in silence. Yuuri was only nibbling at his freshly-caught squid, not really consuming it. His scarlet-scaled friend, on the other hand, was on his fourth one, gobbling them up happily. He slurped a tentacle into his mouth and then licked his fingers. His cheerfulness faded, however, when he looked over at the other merman.  
“Yuuri,” he chastised gently. “You've barely touched your food. You used to love squid!” Yuuri turned his head away.  
“And I was fat,” he hissed under his breath. 

Phichit tsked softly and traced his fingers over the other mer’s side, where his ribs were beginning to show. Yuuri had been barely eating anything.  
“You're beautiful, Yuuri. Nobody cared that you were a little bit chubby.”  
“I cared,” Yuuri responded. His cephalopod was lying on the rock next to him, abandoned. Not a word was spoken for several minutes, the quiet threatening to swallow them up. 

Guilt gripped at Phichit’s stomach. There was something that he needed to say. He swallowed a bite of squid that was too large, and it slid down his throat very slowly and uncomfortably.  
“Yuuri, I-” He took in a deep breath, preparing himself. “I think you should go and visit the human.” Yuuri turned back to face him, short hair obscuring his tired eyes. He bowed his head, looking at his lap.  
“Why? It doesn't even matter now. It's over. I'm getting married in a week,” he mumbled.  
“Please try, at least. I don't want you to be sad.”  
“He doesn't even care about me anymore. I'm sure he's moved on by now,” Yuuri told him, despondent. 

Phichit sucked in a breath and chewed his cheek, planning what he should say next.  
“I'm positive he still cares about you.” Yuuri shook his head miserably.  
“How would you know?”  
“Well…” Phichit gulped. “He waits for you.” His friend glanced up, confused. “I've watched him a few times, and he comes down to the beach everyday and just stands there, looking out to sea.” Fleeting, a spark of hope flitted across Yuuri’s features.  
“What?” he questioned tentatively.  
“Sometimes he cries,” the other merman added carefully. 

Yuuri looked concerned and shocked.  
“Will you please go and see him?” Phichit asked. The purple and blue-scaled mer took in a long breath. He seemed like he was desperately longing to agree, but something was holding him back. Conflict was making his expression slightly torn. Eventually though, he nodded firmly, decided and resolute.  
“I'll go to Viktor tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late upload! :') Are you ready for the final chapter?


	11. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor and Yuuri reunite at long last, and our story comes to a close.

Viktor looked over to Chris, who was lounging on the sofa and idly scrolling through his phone. 

“I'm going to the store. Could you watch Makkachin for a bit?” Chris looked up and gave a salute in agreement. “It'll be a while,” Viktor continued. “I haven't been shopping in over a month!” The Swiss man snorted light-heartedly. 

“I'd believe that.” He returned his attention to the screen in front of him. His friend folded his scarf around his neck, tied his bootlaces, and pulled on a warm jacket. 

“Do you want anything?” Viktor called before he opened the door. 

“Ah, no thanks,” Chris responded. “I'll probably go back home soon; I need to work on some new pieces.” Viktor grabbed his keys and left, then locked the door, crossed the porch, and tapped down the steps. Turning to go around the side of the house and up the slope to the main road, he stopped and looked down at the ocean beyond the trees, shining beckoningly beyond the trees. 

He had a little time… Maybe he could go down to the sea for a while? Impulsively, he began wandering down the path before his reason could stop him. There was a tiny little butterfly of hope in his heart, still fluttering its fragile wings, but it was barely alive. It was a hope that maybe Yuuri would visit him. As positive as he was, his optimism was slowly ebbing away. Surely if the merman cared, he would have come to see him by now, right?

Viktor sighed and looked above him, where the sun was shining through the leaves. Birds chirped in the branches, returning home from their winter migration South. The air had a fresh, clean scent to it; the aroma of new life beginning. The snow had almost entirely melted, washed away by the warm rain. Tiny little crocus shoots were pushing up out of the ground. 

Viktor stepped onto the beach and was met by a full view of the azure sky. The few clouds that were there were wispy and thin, like smoke on the horizon. The tide was mostly in, although it was starting to go back out. His feet were kicking up some of the fine sand as he walked, but there was hardly any wind to carry it far. As he reached the damp sand, he was very cautious about where he was stepping. It would hurt his heart and make him feel even more guilty than he already did if he inadvertently killed an innocent sea creature.

When he was younger, Viktor had stepped on a sand dollar and broken it. He had felt the shell crack under his foot and looked down to see the fuzzy creature snapped in half and crushed in the center, fluids oozing out. 

“Fix it, fix it!” he had sobbed to his mother, who told him that there was nothing they could do. He had been inconsolable. The fact that he had taken another life, even a small one, had hurt him terribly. Even now, he felt a pang of regret whenever he thought about it.

Smiling, Viktor looked out at the ocean. The sun was already beginning to set, casting a brilliant orange glare on the water. It seemed redder and dimmer than usual, like a glowing ember in the fiery sky. He came to the rock-covered section of the beach and began his routine of carefully picking his way over them. As he drew near, small red crabs scuttled under the shelter of the stones. 

It was beginning to get hard to see, and Viktor squinted to get an eye for where he was placing his feet in the pale amber light. Without thinking, he put his weight onto a small rock before testing to make sure it was steady, and he felt it lurch under him. 

Suddenly, he was falling. His fingers scrabbled against the boulders on either side of him for support, but he only managed to lacerate them on the sharp barnacles and mussels clinging to the craggy surface. Falling, falling, and his ankle got caught and made a sound that it was not supposed to, and stabbing pain shot up his leg. 

And then Viktor hit his head on something hard, and white spots danced in front of his vision like stars. He tried to sit up but oh, he was so nauseous and the whole world was spinning and the earth was swaying and he had to lay back down again. His boot began to feel tight around his ankle as it started to swell up. 

The urge to close his eyes was almost completely overpowering, but for some reason, Viktor knew he had to fight and keep them open. His eyelids strained as he tried to keep them lifted, and he stared up at the darkened sky, struggling to remember where he was, and what had just happened. ‘Stay awake, stay awake,’ he begged himself. The back of his head ached so terribly, pulsing in radiating agony. He tried to focus on the throbbing to ground him so that he wouldn't fall asleep. 

Somewhere, in the part of his head that was still thinking properly, Viktor thought, ‘I never got the groceries,’ and the corners of his mouth lifted into a smile. His eyelids were slipping closed against his will, millimeter by millimeter. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Yuuri lethargically flicked his tail, sluggishly propelling himself towards the waves above. He was certainly not in a hurry, trepidation weighing him down as it pooled in the pit of his stomach. If Viktor even showed up, what would he say to Yuuri? Would be angry that he had left without a word? He gulped, trying to push these thoughts away, but it was no use. Chewing the inside of his cheek, he slowed his ascent. What if Viktor didn't come down to the beach, and Yuuri ended up feeling even worse than before? And… what would he even say to Viktor if he did show up? 

Anxiety twisted in his chest, constricting and threatening to suffocate him. His gills drew in water rapidly and his shoulders heaved as he tried to get enough oxygen from the water. His heart was beating wildly in his rib cage in apprehension and worry. To calm himself, he began trying to regulate his breaths and make them longer, but it wasn't really working to soothe his nerves. 

Before he could change his mind, Yuuri shot upwards in a burst of energy and broke the surface. The night air was cool against his upper body, and he filled his weak human lungs with it. He surveyed the shore. Now, he had to find a place in the shallows to rest and wait. Somewhere hidden from people out on a morning stroll, but where he could still hear if Viktor was coming. The plan was to stay near the beach all through the night and the next day. That way, he wouldn't miss Viktor if he showed up. 

Ah, there. Near a large cluster of boulders was a place where Yuuri could hide in the shallows, but not get stranded when the tide went out. He ducked his head underwater to make sure, and his hunch was confirmed. There was a steep drop a ways away from the rocks, creating a small chasm that would be great to stay in. When the tide was all the way out, it would stay full and partially submerged. 

Inwardly, he was grateful that merfolk had good eyesight in the dark, although that didn't help the fact that he had a bit of hard time seeing things that were far away. There was no moon tonight, but he could still make out the shape of the hole up ahead. Yuuri swam forward, careful not to hit his tail against the craggy sea floor beneath him. It wouldn't penetrate his scales, but it would still sting. He came to the approximately six-feet deep trench and was about to settle into it for the night when he got a peculiar feeling in his gut. A feeling that something was terribly wrong. 

Quickly, Yuuri jerked his head up out of the water and turned to face the beach. When he saw the vague shape of a human form sprawled across the rocks, his heart jolted. The person must be injured, otherwise they wouldn't just be lying there. He would not let that human die right in front of him when he could have done something to help, no matter how difficult it would be. If he didn't, he would be plagued with guilt the rest of his life. 

Yuuri gritted his teeth, determined. Straining, he lifted himself up onto the edge of the miniature cliff. There was a thin layer of water underneath him, not retreated back with the tide yet, and it made a splash when he landed heavily. He peered out to the body that was slumped on its back and he gasped in horror when he recognized who it was. ‘Viktor.’ 

A choked sob tore out of his throat and he desperately started crawling over the sharp stones. They scraped painfully against his exposed belly and tail, and he felt a scale dislodge. Crying the human’s name over and over, he struggled closer. His Viktor was hurt. He might be dying. Tears blurred his vision and he clawed in the darkness for handholds to drag himself forward, his tail a dead weight behind him. 

There was no water below Yuuri now, just rocks and gritty sand that irritated his skin and got stuck under his nails and lamina. He didn't even notice, neither would he even care if he did. The barnacles attached to the stones sliced the pads of his fingers and split some of the membranes between them, but he pressed onward. 

Three feet away, two, one- and then there Yuuri was, right beside Viktor after what felt like decades. Frantically, he watched to make sure his love’s breast was still rising and falling, and untensed slightly when he saw that it was. He searched for a wound, and saw dark blood on the boulder Viktor’s head was lying on, shining nauseatingly in the starlight.  
“No, no, no, no,” he clicked panically in mermish. Viktor must be concussed. If he fell asleep, he could go into a coma and potentially never wake up, but couldn't shake him, or the head trauma could get worse. Instead, he gently hit the human’s cheeks. “Please, please,” he wailed miserably. 

Viktor could not die. Yuuri would be absolutely destroyed. Drops of water fell from his eyes and onto his partner’s forehead.  
“Viktor, Viktor,” he wept. Those heart-wrenchingly familiar sea-blue eyes fluttered open, and the mer released a shaky breath, relief flooding through his system. Viktor focused on the merman and whispered,  
“Yuuri,” smiling weakly. Against his better judgement, Yuuri kissed him softly and sloppily on the lips, heedful not to shift the human’s head, and then pulled away. 

Viktor raised a trembling hand and placed it on the side of Yuuri’s face. The mer leaned into the touch, biting his lip as he cried, shuddering. He had missed Viktor so much. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Viktor moved his fingers to run them through Yuuri’s dark, silky hair. It had been cruelly hacked off, and he felt a surge of protectiveness rise inside of him. Who had done this? He had loved that long, gorgeous mane. It didn't matter, though. The only thing that mattered was that Yuuri was here, in his arms at last. Exhausted from the exertion, his arm fell and he looked up at the merman. In the haze induced by his injury, he was upset that Yuuri was crying. Was it his fault? ‘Sorry, my dear,’ he thought. 

Yuuri’s cheeks were red and blotchy from weeping; tear stained, wet, and puffy. In Viktor’s eyes, he could not be more beautiful. He wouldn't want to replace the sight with anything else in the entire universe. There was something different about the mer’s face, however, that twisted his already queasy stomach into a knot. That lovely face that he had missed so much was a bit gaunt. He shifted his aching eyes to look down at the merman’s midriff and gasped faintly. 

Yuuri was sickly thin, and what had once been a slightly pudgy tummy was now almost concave. His soft love handles were gone as well, replaced with the harsh outline of his hips. Viktor's smile faltered as he realized that the mer hadn't been eating properly. It broke his heart that he would do such a thing to himself. He wanted so badly to hold the merman tight and never let him go again, but oh, his head ached so much, especially with the hard, sharp rock behind it, pressing against the wound. 

Viktor groaned subduedly and closed his eyes. It pained him so badly, pounding and pulsating. It felt like his skull was stuffed full of dense, heavy cotton. Yuuri was chittering worriedly, and he forced his eyelids up again. He could stay awake for the merman. 

~~~~~~~~~~~-

Yuuri knew that the hard surface that Viktor was resting his cranium on would only aggravate the injury. He couldn't budge him, or the concussion could worsen. What could he do? He searched for something to cushion the human’s head with, but all he could think of was the human’s jacket. It would be a delicate procedure to remove the garment. Pain-stakingly, he began undoing the buttons on the navy blue coat, then pulled Viktor's limp arms out of the sleeves. 

Thankfully, Viktor had a sweater on underneath and so he wouldn't freeze. Gently, Yuuri lifted up his torso and tugged the article of clothing out from beneath him. He folded it a bit lopsidedly, and, extra cautious not to touch the gash, cradled the human’s neck. He slowly tucked the clothing below him and gradually lowered his head onto it. Guilt stabbed his gut when he saw Viktor wince slightly, but then he smiled gratefully and relaxed onto the makeshift pillow. 

Tenderly, Yuuri snuggled into Viktor’s strong chest. He was so warm, and the merman knew that this was where he was meant to be. Turning onto his back and still nuzzled against his partner’s side, he looked up at the sky. Because there was no moon that night and the area had very little light pollution, they could see billions of stars. He chuckled quietly under his breath. The circumstances were different, but this was what he had dreamed about so long ago. 

Just the two of them together underneath a river of stars that stretched across the whole sky, little pinpoints of white on a vast midnight-blue canvas. It reminded Yuuri of one of Viktor’s paintings in its striking magnificence. He stretched out his index finger and pointed out the constellations that the mer folk used for navigation, telling the myths and stories behind every single one in the process. He knew that the human couldn't understand what he was saying, but it was so freeing to just talk, especially after keeping everything bottled up these past few months. 

Yuuri would say the names of the celestial bodies slowly, enunciating every syllable, and Viktor would repeat it in heavily accented and mispronounced Mermish, and then they would laugh light-heartedly. It felt amazing to laugh. The last time he had laughed like this was, well, back when he was still living with the human. Viktor in turn lifted his hand to identify stars that were featured in human legends and culture. The merman listened attentively, enraptured by the sound of his voice, and love swelled up inside of him like a tidal wave. 

Yuuri clasped one of the human’s hands in his own. The slender fingers had cuts on them and were crusted in blood just like his, and it anguished him that Viktor was hurt. He had been foolish to give in to his anxiety and not come back. Just thinking about how he'd been trying to forget about Viktor made him furious with himself. He had wounded the human by being so cold and selfish, and for that he didn't think that he could ever forgive himself.

And now, there was something inside of Yuuri that was begging to escape. Something that desperately needed to be said. All he had to do was gather the courage. Phichit had told him how to say the phrase in the human language, and he had practiced dozens of times. Taking a deep to prepare himself, heart beating wildly, he opened his mouth, and-  
“I love you!” he blurted out. He couldn't bear to look at Viktor's face, in fear of what his reaction would be. Embarrassed, his face began to flush and he nervously twitched his caudal fin. Oh no, his partner didn't feel the same way. Hot tears welled up in his eyes as Viktor untwined his fingers from his. The human must be disgusted with him. How did he have the gall to confess such a thing-

A hand was placed gently on Yuuri’s cheek, and it guided him so that he was facing the human. Viktor looked the happiest that the merman had ever seen him. There was a huge grin on his face, and joyful tears were dripping from his eyes.  
“I love you,” he echoed, voice thick with emotion. Yuuri was stunned for a few moments, but his face melted into an elated smile and he rested his head on the human’s forest green sweater-covered chest. Viktor began calmly running a hand through the mer’s messy black hair. 

Yuuri heard the human yawn, and and eventually Viktor’s breathing steadied and his hand dropped. He didn't stop him from sleeping, however; enough time had elapsed that he wasn't concerned about him slipping into a coma or dying anymore. He was so glad that Viktor would be okay. The human was alive, and he was safe. Up above, the sky was commencing to lighten, signalling the dawn. 

Peacefully, Yuuri sighed. He could feel his gills and the layers of tissue under his scales drying up, stretched tautly over his body. It would all be over soon, he already knew. He was too weak to try and crawl to the ocean, especially now that the tide was all the way out. Viktor wouldn't be able to carry him either; he couldn't even sit up, nevertheless stand. With a certain air of tranquility, he resigned himself to his fate. 

Yuuri only hoped that his loved ones wouldn't be too broken up over his death. Maybe that mermaid he was promised to could find love. Maybe Phichit could find another best friend. Maybe his family could eventually move on. And maybe Viktor… maybe they could see each other someday in the afterlife. He could only hope. 

Yuuri’s breaths were coming short now, shallow and rough and labored. He had been on land too long, and now his feeble human lungs were failing. Gasping for air, he gazed at Viktor. Viktor. The reason that he had discovered light in his life. The human had such a serene expression on his beautiful face, and Yuuri was reminded of the first time that he saw him. A smile played on his lips when he remembered how he'd thought that Viktor was an angel. So much had happened since then… And yet, this was how things were going to end. He wouldn't want the grand finale of his life to be any other way.

Using the last of the strength he had left, Yuuri pulled himself closer and kissed Viktor’s forehead lightly, so as not to awaken him. Air was entering and escaping him in ragged inhales and exhales and the edges of his vision were beginning to darken and blur. A single tear slipped down his cheek. ‘Goodbye, my sweet,’ he thought, smiling sadly, and the whole world faded away.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Viktor awoke to golden sunlight flickering down on him from between the large boulders. The first thing he was aware of was his earth-shattering, brain-splitting headache. It was centered in the back, and then the pain radiated out from it to the rest of his head. In a fog, he remembered the events of the night before and smiled through the agony. Yuuri had saved him from passing out. His kind, amazing Yuuri. He was so grateful that the merman had returned and helped him. And, he recalled suddenly, the merman loved him. Yuuri loved him. He felt like he could burst with happiness. 

Viktor turned his head to the side, and wanted to throw up as a thousand flashing bombs exploded in his skull. Blinking away the bright spots, he looked at Yuuri. His russet eyes were closed and he had a placidly happy expression on his still face. He wondered what the mer was dreaming about. Hopefully it was only sweet things. The tiny purple scales along his nose and cheekbones sparkled in the sun like fragments of amethyst.

Tenderly, Viktor reached out a hand to shake his partner awake. The merman didn't rouse, and his skin felt as cold as ice, far colder than usual.  
“Yuuri?” the human asked, smiling to mask his rising worry. Perhaps he was just in a deep sleep. Viktor shook him again, a little bit more firmly. No response. “Yuuri?” Concern flooded his tone. He watched carefully for a moment. The merman wasn't breathing. Panic shot through him, and he struggled to sit up. Dizziness made his vision tilt like a deranged see-saw and he nearly fell and crashed his head back onto the rocks. 

Viktor folded his legs underneath him, his broken, swollen ankle twisting at an odd angle. He could barely feel it in his numbness. Fighting to stay upright and not vomit, he moved closer to Yuuri’s limp form and then pulled the merman onto his lap. Rocking him back and forth, he begged,  
“Yuuri, please,” tears beginning to flow. This couldn't be happening, right? It had to be a nightmare or a concussion-induced hallucination or something. Desperately, he leaned down and put his ear to the mer’s chest. There was no heartbeat.

Viktor lifted up his face to the heavens as waves of nausea rolled over him, eyes screwed shut. Shuddering sobs racked his body. Yuuri was finally here in his arms after so long. The beautiful merman was here with him physically, but his spirit was gone. He was dead. He cradled Yuuri close to him, cheek rested against his soft hair. The pain from his head injury was nothing compared to the agony in his heart. It felt as if something had been forcibly ripped out of his chest and he had just been abandoned to bleed out. 

A guttural scream escaped Viktor’s throat, raw and animalistic. His face was contorted in lamentation, twisted and red with grief. The sea created a sickening ambience that accompanied his piercing cries of anguish. 

la fin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took so long! I didn't think it would have this many words XD An infinite thanks to you guys, the only reason that I managed to complete this. I'll have more au fics up soon, so be on the look out for those. ^^ I can't believe this is finished!

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr is https://www.tumblr.com/blog/joelsweet
> 
> Art:   
> http://sta.sh/01hyt30n4y1g  
> http://angelb0y.deviantart.com/art/PC-JoelSweet-661582673


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